Summary of Amoris Laetitia: On Love in the Family
It is not by chance that Amoris Laetitia (AL), “The Joy of Love”, the postsynodal
Apostolic Exhortation “on Love in the Family”, was signed on 19
March, the Solemnity of Saint Joseph. It brings together the results of the
two Synods on the family convoked by Pope Francis in 2014 and 2015. It
often cites their Final Reports; documents and teachings of his Predecessors;
and his own numerous catecheses on the family. In addition, as in previous
magisterial documents, the Pope also makes use of the contributions of
various Episcopal Conferences around the world (Kenya, Australia,
Argentina…) and cites significant figures such as Martin Luther King and
Erich Fromm. The Pope even quotes the film Babette’s Feast to illustrate the
concept of gratuity.
Introduction (1-7)
The Apostolic Exhortation is striking for its breadth and detail. Its 325
paragraphs are distributed over nine chapters. The seven introductory
paragraphs plainly set out the complexity of a topic in urgent need of
thorough study. The interventions of the Synod Fathers make up [form] a
“multifaceted gem” (AL 4), a precious polyhedron, whose value must be
preserved. But the Pope cautions that “not all discussions of doctrinal, moral
or pastoral issues need to be settled by interventions of the magisterium”.
Indeed, for some questions, “each country or region … can seek solutions
better suited to its culture and sensitive to its traditions and local needs. For
‘cultures are in fact quite diverse and every general principle … needs to be
inculturated, if it is to be respected and applied’” (AL 3). This principle of
inculturation applies to how problems are formulated and addressed and,
apart from the dogmatic issues that have been well defined by the Church’s
magisterium, none of this approach can be “globalized”. In his address at the
end of the 2015 Synod, the Pope said very clearly: “What seems normal for
a bishop on one continent, is considered strange and almost scandalous –
almost! – for a bishop from another; what is considered a violation of a right
in one society is an evident and inviolable rule in another; what for some is
freedom of conscience is for others simply confusion.”
The Pope clearly states that we need above all to avoid a sterile juxtaposition
between demands for change and the general application of abstract norms.
He writes: “The debates carried on in the media, in certain publications and
even among the Church’s ministers, range from an immoderate desire for
total change without sufficient reflection or grounding, to an attitude that
would solve everything by applying general rules or deriving undue
conclusions from particular theological considerations” (AL 2).
Chapter One: “In the light of the Word” (8-30)
Following this introduction, the Pope begins his reflections with the Holy
Scriptures in the first chapter, which unfolds as a meditation on Psalm 128
(which appears in the Jewish wedding liturgy as well as that of Christian
marriages). The Bible “is full of families, births, love stories and family
crises” (AL 8). This impels us to meditate on how the family is not an
abstract ideal but rather like a practical “trade” (AL 16), which is carried out
with tenderness (AL 28), but which has also been confronted with sin from
the beginning, when the relationship of love turned into domination (cf. AL
19). Hence, the Word of God “is not a series of abstract ideas but rather a
source of comfort and companionship for every family that experiences
difficulties or suffering. For it shows them the goal of their journey…” (AL
22).
Chapter two: “The experiences and challenges of families” (31-57)
Building on the biblical base, in the second chapter the Pope considers the
current situation of families. While keeping “firmly grounded in [the]
reality” of family experiences (AL 6), he also draws heavily on the final
Reports of the two Synods. Families face many challenges, from migration
to the ideological denial of differences between the sexes (“ideology of
gender” AL 56); from the culture of the provisional to the antibirth mentality
and the impact of biotechnology in the field of procreation; from the lack of
housing and work to pornography and abuse of minors; from inattention to
persons with disabilities, to lack of respect for the elderly; from the legal
dismantling of the family, to violence against women. The Pope insists on
concreteness, which is a key concept in the Exhortation. And it is
concreteness, realism and daily life that make up the substantial difference
between acceptable “theories” of interpretation of reality and arbitrary
“ideologies”.
Citing Familiaris consortio, Francis states that “we do well to focus on
concrete realities, since ‘the call and the demands of the Spirit resound in the
events of history’, and through these ‘the Church can also be guided to a
more profound understanding of the inexhaustible mystery of marriage and
the family’” (AL 31). Conversely, if we fail to listen to reality, we cannot
understand the needs of the present or the movements of the Spirit. The Pope
notes that rampant individualism makes it difficult today for a person to give
oneself generously to another (cf. AL 33). Here is an interesting picture of
the situation: “The fear of loneliness and the desire for stability and fidelity
exist side by side with a growing fear of entrapment in a relationship that
could hamper the achievement of one’s personal goals” (AL 34).
The humility of realism helps us to avoid presenting “a far too abstract and
almost artificial theological ideal of marriage, far removed from the concrete
situations and practical possibilities of real families” (AL 36). Idealism does
not allow marriage to be understood for what it is, that is, a “dynamic path to
personal development and fulfilment”. It is unrealistic to think that families
can sustain themselves “simply by stressing doctrinal, bioethical and moral
issues, without encouraging openness to grace” (AL 37). Calling for a
certain “self-criticism” of approaches that are inadequate for the experience
of marriage and the family, the Pope stresses the need to make room for the
formation of the conscience of the faithful: “We have been called to form
consciences, not to replace them” (AL 37). Jesus proposed a demanding
ideal but “never failed to show compassion and closeness to the frailty of
individuals like the Samaritan woman or the woman caught in adultery” (AL
38).
Chapter three: “Looking to Jesus: The vocation of the family” (58-88)
The third chapter is dedicated to some essential elements of the Church’s
teaching on marriage and the family. This chapter is important because its 30
paragraphs concisely depict the vocation of the family according to the
Gospel and as affirmed by the Church over time. Above all, it stresses the
themes of indissolubility, the sacramental nature of marriage, the
transmission of life and the education of children. Gaudium et Spes of
Vatican II, Humanae Vitae of Paul VI, and Familiaris Consortio of John
Paul II are widely quoted.
The chapter provides a broad view and touches on “imperfect situations” as
well. We can read, in fact: “‘Discernment of the presence of ‘seeds of the
Word’ in other cultures (cf. Ad Gentes 11) can also apply to the reality of
marriage and the family. In addition to true natural marriage, positive
elements exist in the forms of marriage found in other religious traditions’,
even if, at times, obscurely” (AL 77). The reflection also includes the
“wounded families” about whom the Pope – quoting the Final Report of the
2015 Synod extensively – says that “it is always necessary to recall this
general principle: ‘Pastors must know that, for the sake of truth, they are
obliged to exercise careful discernment of situations’ (Familiaris Consortio,
84). The degree of responsibility is not equal in all cases and factors may
exist which limit the ability to make a decision. Therefore, while clearly
stating the Church’s teaching, pastors are to avoid judgements that do not
take into account the complexity of various situations, and they are to be
attentive, by necessity, to how people experience and endure distress
because of their condition” (AL 79).
Chapter four: “Love in marriage” (89-164)
The fourth chapter treats love in marriage, which it illuminates with Saint
Paul’s Hymn to Love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. This opening section is truly a
painstaking, focused, inspired and poetic exegesis of the Pauline text. It is a
collection of brief passages carefully and tenderly describing human love in
absolutely concrete terms. The quality of psychological introspection that
marks this exegesis is striking. The psychological insights enter into the
emotional world of the spouses – positive and negative – and the erotic
dimension of love. This is an extremely rich and valuable contribution to
Christian married life, unprecedented in previous papal documents.
This section digresses briefly from the more extensive, perceptive treatment
of the day-to-day experience of married love which the Pope refuses to
judge against ideal standards: “There is no need to lay upon two limited
persons the tremendous burden of having to reproduce perfectly the union
existing between Christ and his Church, for marriage as a sign entails ‘a
dynamic process…, one which advances gradually with the progressive
integration of the gifts of God’” (AL 122). On the other hand, the Pope
forcefully stresses the fact that conjugal love by its very nature defines the
partners in a richly encompassing and lasting union (AL 123), precisely
within that “mixture of enjoyment and struggles, tensions and repose, pain
and relief, satisfactions and longings, annoyances and pleasures” (Al 126)
which indeed make up a marriage.
The chapter concludes with a very important reflection on the
“transformation of love” because “Longer life spans now mean that close
and exclusive relationships must last for four, five or even six decades;
consequently, the initial decision has to be frequently renewed” (AL 163).
As physical appearance alters, the loving attraction does not lessen but
changes as sexual desire can be transformed over time into the desire for
togetherness and mutuality: “There is no guarantee that we will feel the
same way all through life. Yet if a couple can come up with a shared and
lasting life project, they can love one another and live as one until death do
them part, enjoying an enriching intimacy” (AL 163).
Chapter five: “Love made fruitful” (165-198)
The fifth chapter is entirely focused on love’s fruitfulness and procreation. It
speaks in a profoundly spiritual and psychological manner about welcoming
new life, about the waiting period of pregnancy, about the love of a mother
and a father. It also speaks of the expanded fruitfulness of adoption, of
welcoming the contribution of families to promote a “culture of encounter”,
and of family life in a broad sense which includes aunts and uncles, cousins,
relatives of relatives, friends. Amoris laetitia does not focus on the so-called
“nuclear” family” because it is very aware of the family as a wider network
of many relationships. The spirituality of the sacrament of marriage has a
deeply social character (cf. AL 187). And within this social dimension the
Pope particularly emphasizes the specific role of the relationship between
youth and the elderly, as well as the relationship between brothers and sisters
as a training ground for relating with others.
Chapter six: “Some pastoral perspectives” (199-258)
In the sixth chapter the Pope treats various pastoral perspectives that are
aimed at forming solid and fruitful families according to God’s plan. The
chapter uses the Final Reports of the two Synods and the catecheses of Pope
Francis and Pope John Paul II extensively. It reiterates that families should
not only be evangelized, they should also evangelize. The Pope regrets “that
ordained ministers often lack the training needed to deal with the complex
problems currently facing families” (AL 202). On the one hand, the psychoaffective
formation of seminarians needs to be improved, and families need
to be more involved in formation for ministry (cf. AL 203); and on the other
hand, “the experience of the broad oriental tradition of a married clergy
could also be drawn upon” (AL 202).
The Pope then deals with the preparation of the engaged for marriage; with
the accompaniment of couples in the first years of married life, including the
issue of responsible parenthood; and also with certain complex situations
and crises, knowing that “each crisis has a lesson to teach us; we need to
learn how to listen for it with the ear of the heart” (AL 232). Some causes of
crisis are analysed, among them a delay in maturing affectively (cf. AL 239).
Mention is furthermore made of accompanying abandoned, separated or
divorced persons. The Exhortation stresses the importance of the recent
reform of the procedures for marriage annulment. It highlights the suffering
of children in situations of conflict and concludes: “Divorce is an evil and
the increasing number of divorces is very troubling. Hence, our most
important pastoral task with regard to families is to strengthen their love,
helping to heal wounds and working to prevent the spread of this drama of
our times” (AL 246). It then touches on the situations of a marriage between
a Catholic and a Christian of another denomination (mixed marriages), and
between a Catholic and someone of another religion (disparity of cult).
Regarding families with members with homosexual tendencies, it reaffirms
the necessity to respect them and to refrain from any unjust discrimination
and every form of aggression or violence. The last, pastorally poignant part
of the chapter, “When death makes us feel its sting”, is on the theme of the
loss of dear ones and of widowhood.
Chapter seven: “Towards a better education of children” (259-290)
The seventh chapter is dedicated to the education of children: their ethical
formation, the learning of discipline which can include punishment, patient
realism, sex education, passing on the faith and, more generally, family life
as an educational context. The practical wisdom present in each paragraph is
remarkable, above all the attention given to those gradual, small steps “that
can be understood, accepted and appreciated” (AL 271).
There is a particularly interesting and pedagogically fundamental paragraph
in which Francis clearly states that “obsession, however, is not education.
We cannot control every situation that a child may experience… If parents
are obsessed with always knowing where their children are and controlling
all their movements, they will seek only to dominate space. But this is no
way to educate, strengthen and prepare their children to face challenges.
What is most important is the ability lovingly to help them grow in freedom,
maturity, overall discipline and real autonomy” (AL 260).
The notable section on education in sexuality is very expressively entitled:
“Yes to sex education”. The need is there, and we have to ask “if our
educational institutions have taken up this challenge … in an age when
sexuality tends to be trivialized and impoverished”. Sound education needs
to be carried out “within the broader framework of an education for love, for
mutual self-giving” (AL 280). The text warns that the expression ‘safe sex’
conveys “a negative attitude towards the natural procreative finality of
sexuality, as if an eventual child were an enemy to be protected against. This
way of thinking promotes narcissism and aggressivity in place of
acceptance” (AL 283).
Chapter eight: “Guiding, discerning and integrating weakness” (291-
312)
The eighth chapter is an invitation to mercy and pastoral discernment in
situations that do not fully match what the Lord proposes. The Pope uses
three very important verbs: guiding, discerning and integrating, which are
fundamental in addressing fragile, complex or irregular situations. The
chapter has sections on the need for gradualness in pastoral care; the
importance of discernment; norms and mitigating circumstances in pastoral
discernment; and finally what the Pope calls the “logic of pastoral mercy”.
Chapter eight is very sensitive. In reading it one must remember that “the
Church’s task is often like that of a field hospital” (AL 291). Here the Holy
Father grapples with the findings of the Synods on controversial issues. He
reaffirms what Christian marriage is and adds that “some forms of union
radically contradict this ideal, while others realize it in at least a partial and
analogous way”. The Church therefore “does not disregard the constructive
elements in those situations which do not yet or no longer correspond to her
teaching on marriage” (AL 292).
As far as discernment with regard to “irregular” situations is concerned, the
Pope states: “There is a need ‘to avoid judgements which do not take into
account the complexity of various situations’ and ‘to be attentive, by
necessity, to how people experience distress because of their condition’”
(AL 296). And he continues: “It is a matter of reaching out to everyone, of
needing to help each person find his or her proper way of participating in the
ecclesial community, and thus to experience being touched by an
‘unmerited, unconditional and gratuitous’ mercy” (AL 297). And further:
“The divorced who have entered a new union, for example, can find
themselves in a variety of situations, which should not be pigeonholed or fit
into overly rigid classifications leaving no room for a suitable personal and
pastoral discernment” (AL 298).
In this line, gathering the observations of many Synod Fathers, the Pope
states that “the baptized who are divorced and civilly remarried need to be
more fully integrated into Christian communities in the variety of ways
possible, while avoiding any occasion of scandal”. “Their participation can
be expressed in different ecclesial services… Such persons need to feel not as
excommunicated members of the Church, but instead as living members,
able to live and grow in the Church… This integration is also needed in the
care and Christian upbringing of their children” (AL 299).
In a more general vein, the Pope makes an extremely important statement for
understanding the orientation and meaning of the Exhortation: “If we
consider the immense variety of concrete situations, … it is understandable
that neither the Synod nor this Exhortation could be expected to provide a
new set of general rules, canonical in nature and applicable to all cases.
What is needed is simply a renewed encouragement to undertake a
responsible personal and pastoral discernment of particular cases, one which
would recognize that, since ‘the degree of responsibility is not equal in all
cases’, the consequences or effects of a rule need not necessarily always be
the same” (AL 300). The Pope develops in depth the needs and
characteristics of the journey of accompaniment and discernment necessary
for profound dialogue between the faithful and their pastors.
For this purpose the Holy Father recalls the Church’s reflection on
“mitigating factors and situations” regarding the attribution of responsibility
and accountability for actions; and relying on St. Thomas Aquinas, he
focuses on the relationship between rules and discernment by stating: “It is
true that general rules set forth a good which can never be disregarded or
neglected, but in their formulation they cannot provide absolutely for all
particular situations. At the same time, it must be said that, precisely for that
reason, what is part of a practical discernment in particular circumstances
cannot be elevated to the level of a rule” (AL 304).
The last section of the chapter treats “The logic of pastoral mercy”. To avoid
misunderstandings, Pope Francis strongly reiterates: “To show
understanding in the face of exceptional situations never implies dimming
the light of the fuller ideal, or proposing less than what Jesus offers to the
human being. Today, more important than the pastoral care of failures is the
pastoral effort to strengthen marriages and thus to prevent their breakdown”
(AL 307).
The overall sense of the chapter and of the spirit that Pope Francis wishes to
impart to the pastoral work of the Church is well summed up in the closing
words: “I encourage the faithful who find themselves in complicated
situations to speak confidently with their pastors or with other lay people
whose lives are committed to the Lord. They may not always encounter in
them a confirmation of their own ideas or desires, but they will surely
receive some light to help them better understand their situation and discover
a path to personal growth. I also encourage the Church’s pastors to listen to
them with sensitivity and serenity, with a sincere desire to understand their
plight and their point of view, in order to help them live better lives and to
recognize their proper place in the Church.” (AL 312)
On the “logic of pastoral mercy”, Pope Francis emphasizes: “At times we find it hard to make
room for God’s unconditional love in our pastoral activity. We put so many
conditions on mercy that we empty it of its concrete meaning and real
significance. That is the worst way of watering down the Gospel” (AL 311).
Chapter nine: “The spirituality of marriage and the family” (313-325)
The ninth chapter is devoted to marital and family spirituality, which “is
made up of thousands of small but real gestures” (AL 315). The Pope clearly
states that “those who have deep spiritual aspirations should not feel that the
family detracts from their growth in the life of the Spirit, but rather see it as
a path which the Lord is using to lead them to the heights of mystical union”
(AL 316). Everything, “moments of joy, relaxation, celebration, and even
sexuality can be experienced as a sharing in the full life of the resurrection”
(AL 317). He then speaks of prayer in the light of Easter, of the spirituality
of exclusive and free love in the challenge and the yearning to grow old
together, reflecting God’s fidelity (cf. AL 319). And finally the spirituality
of care, consolation and incentive: the Pope teaches that “all family life is a
‘shepherding’ in mercy. Each of us, by our love and care, leaves a mark on
the life of others” (AL 322). It is a profound “spiritual experience to
contemplate our loved ones with the eyes of God and to see Christ in them”
(AL 323).
In the final paragraph the Pope affirms: “No family drops down from heaven
perfectly formed; families need constantly to grow and mature in the ability
to love … All of us are called to keep striving towards something greater
than ourselves and our families, and every family must feel this constant
impulse. Let us make this journey as families, let us keep walking together.
May we never lose heart because of our limitations, or ever stop seeking that
fullness of love and communion which God holds out before us” (AL 325).
As can readily be understood from a quick review of its contents, the
Apostolic Exhortation Amoris laetitia seeks emphatically to affirm not the
“ideal family” but the very rich and complex reality of family life. Its pages
provide an openhearted look, profoundly positive, which is nourished not
with abstractions or ideal projections, but with pastoral attention to reality.
The text is a close reading of family life, with spiritual insights and practical
wisdom useful for every human couple or persons who want to build a
family. Above all, it is patently the result of attention to what people have
lived over many years. The Exhortation Amoris laetitia: On Love in the
Family indeed speaks the language of experience and of hope.
